Its been a while, and I don't even like Staind.

Hey readers, its been to long since my last post, so I guess its time for me to resolve that and have a nice big post. I am currently in the library, listeneing to the same song again and again and pretending to study German History. Big test on monday. Should be ok, though. I know I am supposed to finish the story of the south, but that might have to wait a little while. Its alright though, I promise I will do it, and it sits eagerly in my heart, leaning forward toward the window of my mind in an attempt to get out. One can only be denied so long, haha.

So I went to montreal last weekend, and I love that city. I had an incredible time, it was honestly the most fun I've had in quite a while. The city itself is architecturally pretty cool, what with the french influenced buildings and old statues and stuff. The people there were different than any people I had ever previously encountered in my life. they were decidedly trendy to the max, and everyone was rocking scarfs. it was pretty entertaining. Lauren has a great apartment, her cat is morbidly obese, and the city is beautiful as the sun sets upon it. all in all, a fantastic time.

This week has been alright. not as good as I had hoped it would be, but I have been in amrkedly high spirits lately, so no reaosn to burst that enjoyable bubble, haha. But I had a lot on my plate past couple of weeks work wise. I had to do a presentation for Deans Book, which was not so bad but my poster was atrocious. It was embarrasing, haha. However, aparently the verbal aspect ofmy presentation was so impressive that it made up for ym alck of a poster, and my professor ghave me quite the compliment later on. She said I epitomise everyhting that a comcol student is supposed to represent, and tha tI was one of the most powerful speakers she had ever encountered. Made me feel pretty good, I must say. I don't mean to brag on myself, but it was jsut one of the ncier things I had heard in quite some time, so thought I would mention it.

After that, its just been a lot of studying for tests and stuff. Had one yesterday, and it went real well. I am thinking a mid to high A, which you can't complain about. I know my classes are coming to an end though, in the long term, and soon school will be voer forever. I sort of wonder how I feel about it. Sometimes I get sort of excited about the prospect of not having to do essays or go to lectures anymore, but other days it gets me phenominally nervous about the future. I sort of have a tenative plan for what I'd like to do, as discussed earlier in my blog, but I'm never certain about anything. so we shall see how it all plays out. iacta alea est.

Gym has been going ok. Bench is feeling good, squats are deifnetly improving. Nat has begun lifitng with me, which I think is really awesome. She has an unreal level of strength for her lifting experiance and gender. Oodles of potential, and I'm not just saying that. be interesting to see how strong she gets in the coming weeks.

I have started tutoring at greenfield middle school, although I have yet to actually tutor. It seems to me like im goign to be running recess and helping out with gym class a lot more frequently than sitting down for learning time. But thats fine, I just like chillin' wit the childrens. However, there are some really striking and somewhat concerning differences between Greenfield and amherst middle schools that I feel needs to be discussed.

So Amherst may not be a phenominally wealthy community like Weston or Sudbury or something, but there is definetly some money there. When I was tutoring at the school last year it was fairly obviious that these kids didnt go without very often. a lot of them had cell phones and fancy clohting and robot dinosaurs and model planes. Greenfield kids have nothing. they are obviously from a drastically different socio economic class, and its really kind of shocking to see how classism plays out in general. For example,. the kids jsut have a sort of resignation to them, like things are the way they are and they arnt going to impriove. I mean, i've only been there a lil bit but it seems like a community that is losing hope. The school itself is sort of filthy, the hallways are dirty and need a paint job. It kind of references the Malcomb Gladwell book The Tipping Point, which says thatthe upkeep of communitys are extreamly important to their overall development and mental image. for example, if you clean uyp a high crime negihboorhood and show that you have pride in it, the people there will have priude as well. this is certainly not the case in Greenfield. Its a mess.

Also, not to make fun of children, burt its obvious that the greenfield kids have not been exposed to the same sort of academic curricula that the amherstites have been. At amherst, kids would build trains and planes and automobiles and all sorts of exciting stuff. in greenfield, they wear camo and sing about lil wayne. just striking is all.

What else to discuss? I have been in incredibly high spirits lately in general. Been feeling real good about life. Way I figure it, there is nothing wrong with me and I have a whole life of great memories to make in front of me, so what is there to be sad about? Regret is a waste, the most useless emotion. However, I'll be honest, little things still set me off. I get down and out occasionally, but its been a lot less frequent. so thats good. I was a little down last night, and like usual I turn into some sort of a zombie and just lay in bed waiting for sleep to overtake me. It only rarely ever does. mostly I lay there and think, and thats never good. So I got up and went online and talked to gumbleton, who is my roomate for those of you who don't know. But happyness looms in horizons forthcoming, I'm certain.

I guess I could rant.

This sort of bothered me the other day, so I guess thats what rnating is all about, no? Anyway, I was reading a freinds facebook, and the first thing they had in their about me part was their major and intended career goals. Is that really, REALLY, the thing, first and foremost, that defines you? I should hope not. I am Dan Hall, and I am a lot more then a history major and potential education/museum worker. Honestly, if that was all I was I wouldent be anything at all. maybe this person just didnt think that there was anything else notewrothy about themselves, but it just sort of made me mad. People are a lot more then their careers. Its important to remember that careers are human fabrications. We are, first and foremost, animals with basic and primal aniamal needs. Remebering this should be how we define ourselves. I am not a citizen of the united states first, or a student, or an aspiring writer. I am a combination, an articulation rolled up into a strange sort of creation, of everything I have ever done, ever drempt, ever concieved. I am not something so base. neither are you. You are incredibl;y unique.

Another thing that bothered me was that Natty told me he was depressed because someone told him that every thing he would ever think has already been thought. that idea is ridiculous to me, its overly pessimistic and unoriginal. Perhaps in that persons brain thats true, but the human mind is a collection fo individual experiances, and can not, and should not, be thought of as the same as everyone else. People are not assembly lioned produced dolls. Each mind has experianced different things. There are no two people on this planet, in this or any other age, nor will there evr be, that have the exact same experiance. simply being in a different body, standing on different soil and hearing different words creates new experiances inside of ytourself. So don't think your ideas are useless because they have alreayd been thought of. nothing could be farther from the truth.

There is a phenominal quote on T-nation right now. I'll go get it for the quote of the day.

Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear.—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


there we go.


should be an interesting weekend, I'll be sure to update. Pce.